Most guys at Lowe’s are normal hard working guys who want to build or fix something. Then there’s the other group. They’re the ones who walk around, look around, and act like they know what they’re doing.
I may or may not be in this group.
In my defense, there are a certain number of hours men are required to spend at Lowe’s. It’s a contractual agreement you sign when you turn 18. I’m not even supposed to be telling you this. Granted, it’s better if you have an idea about tools and household repair, but if you’re “handy challenged”, you fake it.
The vast majority of the Lowe’s staff is helpful and gracious to guys who are obviously clueless. But today, the guy in lumber was brutally honest. I’ll call him Pete. (Because that was his name.)
As I slowly wandered down the plywood aisle, gazing aimlessly through the stacks of three quarter inch four foot by eight foot boards, I wondered. Do I want hardwood? Treated? Particle board? And even if I knew, how would I fit it into the Prius?
I had no answers. I didn’t even have any good questions. Pete saw my lifeless stare and approached me. “Do you need help, sir?”
“More ways than you know.”
“Yes sir. In regard to plywood.”
Now I’m on the spot. I wasn’t even looking for anything. I was just putting in my Lowe’s Man-Time Quota, and Pete was on to me.
“Oh, yeah… I was, um…just wondering if you recommend uh, birch or pine. Yeah that’s it.”
“What is the nature of your project?”
(“Project?”… busted.)
“Well, I… haven’t really decided which direction to go just yet, see. I’m still weighing my options and, you know. I’m kind of in the brainstorming sta…”
“Sir?”
“Yeah?”
“Just stop.”
“Okay.”
He then led me away to an area I didn’t even know existed at Lowe’s. They have simple tools and educational sessions designed to instruct novice do-it-yourself-ers.
It’s called “Kid’s Korner.”