Goldfish are great first pets. They require so little. Feed them once a day, change the water once a week.
They need so little attention, and in return they offer so little companionship. They barely stay alive long enough to get attached. The highlight for the goldfish owner is the ceremonial flush.
But I am so lazy I went below entry level pet ownership. I couldn’t even be bothered with a few flakes and an occasional rinse. I drew a fish on a ball and put him in a bowl. No fuss, no muss. He doesn’t demand messy food and clean up, and in 20 years I can pass him on to my descendants.
I call him Beatles Bob on a Ball in a Bowl.
Bob for short.
And yes, he likes the Beatles. He is after all, my fish.
He’s so well behaved. He doesn’t make noise, pee the carpet, or need attention. He is the standard for all pets. I’m so grateful for his exemplary conduct.
I just may get him some rocks for his bowl.