Many are technically challenged. I’ve got you beat.
I’m not just challenged. I’m daunted and haunted daily by the evil screens that pervade our existence. Usernames? Always wrong. Passwords? Haven’t remembered one since 2019.
Passwords don’t just evade me. They jump out of my laptop and run under my baseboards like panic-stricken cockroaches.
My phone used to unexplainably lose its charge. Now it sleeps till noon, wakes up, slaps me, and demands breakfast.
My iPad is the worst. This spam magnet randomly changes fonts on the hour, takes two days to reboot, and when I try to connect to Wifi, I receive a painful electrical shock.
There is no remedy for these injustices. Like a schoolyard bully or a nagging wife, I just live with it.
Won’t you please, please, help me?