6. “Can I be honest?” Of course, you can. Really? Is anybody ever going to say, “No, please be dishonest,” or “I’d much rather you lie”? “Please. Lessen my trust.”
5. “Can I ask a question?” Looks like you just did! Falls under the same category as “Can I tell you something?” No need to ask permission. Just say your thing.
4. “Are you sitting down?” Do I need to? Over the years, I’ve heard lots of bad or surprising news, but I’ve never fainted from it.
3. “You know what I mean?” Of course, I do. Seldom meant literally, it’s just a random insertion and a filler speech habit. Might as well say “Affirm me.”
2. “Can somebody say amen?” Another shameless request for affirmation. AKA “Will somebody please tell me I’m right?” (Can somebody say self-indulgent?)
1. “It is what it is.” The absolute most pointless. Everything is what it is. Never in the history of anything has there ever been anything that isn’t what it is.
Or has there?