Lois and I met at church in Cincinnati. She was married, and I was dating. We were part of a Christian band called Godshadows. She was one of the singers and I was the drummer. We played churches from 1977 to 1980. Boo Koos of fond memories among a group of close friends. We even double dated!
In 1979 Lois’ marriage broke up. My relationship also ended, and soon Lois and I started dating. Some said too soon. It’s easy to say when it’s not you. We were in love. Some found it difficult to accept.
We married in 1980, and Lois and I, her kids Shannon, 7 and Sean, 5, became a family. We got an apartment and started our lives together. Lois worked as a dental assistant, I in a machine shop. We were living “happily ever after!”
What we didn’t anticipate were the inevitable struggles in our newfound wedded bliss.
In 1981 I got an opportunity to work at the General Motors plant in Shreveport, Louisiana. So just 9 months into our marriage, we moved to a new city, knowing virtually nobody. But we were excited to start our new life together.
This was a gigantic undertaking, with challenges moving across the country, financial concerns, job adjustments, residential searches, new schools, unfamiliar culture, and extended family issues. It was a significant emotional time. Still, our devotion to one another was unyielding.
Eventually my spiritual immaturity caused a relationship strain. I knew about God, but I didn’t know God. I abused substances to cope.
As months became years, it became a major problem. Our love for each other never waned, but it got complicated. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was addicted.
Lois finally brought the tough love. I had a choice. This lifestyle or this family.
That’s when a work friend shared Jesus with me. Soon I accepted Christ and we started attending church. It didn’t all happen overnight, but we both became Christians and our lives began to change.
The ensuing 40 years have brought many changes. The joys of 2 more sons and 3 grandchildren. The painful passing of loved ones. Estranged family members. But through it all, there’s still Lois and me.
I’m so grateful for our early church upbringing, Lois’ commitment and patience, and my friend Ken for sharing Jesus, who turned everything upside down for the good, and continues to do so today!
Now we’re 45 years in, and whatever time the Lord allows I know is by His grace. So we’re living out our days doing our best to be a light for Him. Thank you God, for the gift of marriage, and the gift of Lois!
Love your family, but prioritize your spouse. You’ll need each other.
“But baby what will we do, when it comes back to me and you?” – Wayne Watson, “Watercolor Ponies”