4/20

Yesterday a friend posted about a bakery selling 4/20 cookies, featuring a funny character with stoned eyes. They were celebrating 4/20, or marijuana day. We now observe a day for pot, hemp products, stoners, and everything weedy. She lamented that we commemorate something so destructive.

Agreed.

I sometimes joke about high people, often in a self-deprecating way, because I was one of them. “I was so stupid I left my keys in the fridge.” “I was once pulled over for driving too slow.” “I bought stock in Visine.”

But for the record: despite what millions may tell you, there’s very little good that comes from the evil cannabis. Sure, the “medical purposes” squad has a point, but it’s a slippery slope that has become an excuse for mindless recreation, and it’s deadening our coherent culture.

It’s my opinion that those who indulge in the hemp for fun have so dulled their senses they don’t even know they’ve taken leave of them.

I did it for 14 years.

It’s been 38 years clean, but I am certain that blowing my brains out from 1972 to 1986 did nothing to sharpen my cognitive skills, but in fact, disfigured them.

So please don’t do it. But if you do, please do it in private. Don’t celebrate it. Don’t encourage it. Don’t glorify it.

To the bakery: Next 4/20, make an ugly cookie.