I have trouble saying no. I can literally say it, but not when I need to. Like 1) if someone asks me to do something I don’t want to do, or 2) I don’t time to do it.
1. I don’t want to do it. Why don’t I want to do it? Is it because I’m selfish? Lazy? Or is it because it’s not something I’m good at or would enjoy?
2. I don’t have time to do it. Is there actually enough time on my calendar? Or does it just go back to number one, and I really don’t want to do it?
It could be a big or little thing. From choosing when and where to retire to how I drive. But it’s not knowing what’s best for me, versus not knowing what I should be willing to do for others.
“Weigh your battles” is a common refrain. Is this a hill worth dying on, or can I let it slide to keep the peace? I almost always seem to pick the latter.
So why do I feel guilty on the rare occasions when I do say no? Is it lack of self esteem? Is it lack of closeness to God? Is it lack of sleep?
For me it comes down to self care. That includes spiritual, mental, and physical maintenance.
Spiritual: Prioritizing my time. Putting God first. Digging into his word and making quiet time with him.
Mental: Reading. Having conversations. Seeking good counsel. Keeping my mind sharp. (I hear crosswords are good.)
Physical: Taking care of my body. Keep moving. Careful dieting. Saying “No” to the wrong foods.
There’s that word again!