Top Ten Tweets of the Week

10. If I was a betting man, I’d bet my car is at least as messy as yours.

9. Cats have three facial expressions: Bored, stoic, and annoyed. All three are exactly the same.

8. I don’t like to think bad thoughts, but sometimes during commercials I do.

7. A church is like a hospital. Except for the bed pan part.

6. We all think we have above average morals. Mathematically, somebody has to be wrong.

5. I once had a boss who instinctively found fault in others. He later ran for office.

4. It’s easy to see the forest for the trees. The forest is made up of trees. Just look.

3. When somebody says “I ain’t judgin’, guess what’s about to happen.

2. My wife said I always have to get the last word in. How do I respond to that?

1. Next time you see Madonna, would you please encourage her to take a break?