Top 12 Signs Your Church is Getting Too Big

 

12. Has its own post office, school system, and Dairy Queen

11. Pews replaced with Lazy boy recliners

10. Altar rail now with cup holders

9. If you’d like something from the cafe, push the button below the armrest and an usher will serve you.

8. Pastor brings the message on the big screen… from his home… in his pajamas.

7. With purchase, book store issuing gift cards to Fuddruckers

6. Door greeters now available when you download our free app.

5. Traditional communion elements of juice and crackers replaced with lattes and delicious pancakes

4. Parking attendant’s golf cart upgraded to a Mercedes

3. With your gift of any amount, receive a free download of worship leader’s latest single

2. Instead of name tags, username and password tags

And the #1 Sign Your Church is Too Big:

…Baptismal water slide!