Me: Do you want me to bring home some ice cream?
Her: Is ice cream on the list of approved items to bring home?
Me: Um, yes?
Her: Fine. Please request a registration form. Upon approval, you’ll fill out the ice cream and desserts addendum.
Me: “Ice cream and desserts addendum?”
Her: Upon receipt, allow 8 to 10 business days for response. If approved, please apply on line at WhatWeCanEat.com.
Wow. Okay. So after following the instructions, two weeks later I’m anxiously awaiting the green light to bring home some Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. I asked about my request status, and was given the run around.
Me: Hi, a couple weeks ago, I requested a registration form to buy ice cream.
Her: Who is this?
Me: This is your husband.
Her: Can you verify your address?
Me: It’s the same as yours!
Her: Hold, please.
Unbelievable. On hold for 45 minutes. Finally…
Her: Thank you for holding, how can I help you?
Me: … Excuse me?
Her: Thank you for calling the Hilarious and Outrageous Association. How may I direct your call?
Me: grrrrr… I Just. Want. Some. Ice. Cream.
Her: Yes sir. Is ice cream on the list of approved items?