Ratings can be so arbitrary. One man’s G for General is another man’s L for Lame. And the last PG-13 movie I saw would have made Howard Stern blush. Okay, maybe not.
Ratings are a handy tool, providing a clue as to exactly what we’re walking into. What’s also interesting: There’s a specific group of people who get to decide! (Who ARE these people?)
There are multiple elements to consider. Beyond G, PG, PG-13, R, and beyond, are the specific details within these ratings, particularly when it comes to the more “adult” themes.
Besides the familiar warnings regarding sexual content, graphic violence, and “mild profanity”, (what IS that exactly?) how about taking it a step further? In a two hour film, there are plenty of opportunities worthy of a courtesy notice.
Sure, nobody’s comfortable when an intimate scene pops up while watching a movie with your child. But I posit it can be just as unpleasant when a grossly overused plot drops in your lap.
Rated P for Predictable.
You’d expect a heads up for scenes of graphic violence, but how about a “watch out” for a script riddled in cliches? That painful, groan-prone dialogue between a leading man and his love interest?
Rated CH for Cheesy.
So many films are profanity-laced. It’s so unnecessary, and you want to know it’s coming. But how many well intentioned movies have you sat through where the acting itself was just… cringe worthy?
Rated B for Bad Acting
These specific precautionary messages are long overdue. We invest an inordinate amount of time and money watching these flicks, so in my mind more detailed pre-show advisories are definitely in order.
“Beware in scene two, the protagonist will spill the entire story line, so feel free to get a snack about twelve minutes in.”
“The driver in the chase scene is not the actor who played the principal in “Saved By The Bell”. It only looks like him. He’s actually the non-paid brother in law of Nicholas Cage.”
Finally, for particularly dreadful movies, a friendly two minute warning. “You’ve made it this far, you might as well stick it out to the end”.
Best yet: Rated DG for Don’t Go!
Extra viewer warnings. Unrealistic expectations? I think not. I call it super serving your audience.
Now pass the extraordinarily over-priced popcorn.
Oh, and “Warning. It was made 6 hours ago”.