(There are lots of great blogs about forgiving others. This is a blog about ASKING for forgiveness.)
Ever hurt someone? You didn’t mean to. It was likely unintentional. But a careless word, an oversight, or a misunderstanding, and you did it. Don’t deny it, defend it, or debate it. Own it. Whatever happened has been received as an offense, justified or not.
Because we can justify anything. We’re all great attorneys in the court of our own mind. But who justifies? Only God. Even if you don’t believe in Him. He calls the shots. He wins.
Here are three things not to say if you’ve offended someone.
“I didn’t MEAN to offend you.”
Of course you didn’t. But when we’ve been hurt, we don’t care what the other person meant. We only care about what we heard.
“I’m sorry IF I offended you.”
There’s no “if”. You obviously offended the person, so take off the stipulations. Make it unconditional. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I know how you feel.”
No you don’t. Nobody wants to hear that. Don’t tell how you went through a similar situation. Don’t make it about you.
Drop your defenses. Humble yourself. Seek restoration.
“Confess your faults, one to another.” (James 5:16)
“Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
(Luke 4:11)
“If you are about to make an offering, and suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, go to this friend and make things right.” (Matt 5:23, 24)