Toby Sheridan, worship leader of mega church The People’s Fellowship in the greater Los Angeles area, was notified via email by Lead Pastor Curt Kroeger he will be put on three weeks probation for “failure to fulfill contractual presentation”.
Sheridan’s agreement with The People’s Fellowship state’s “Worship Leaders are expected to provide an on-stage worship experience in a Christ-like atmosphere. These expectations include, but are not restricted to the following criteria:
1) The worship leader shall wear stylish half boots, short jackets, and skinny jeans.
2) The worship leader shall maintain proper dental hygiene, with at least one whitening per year.
3) The worship leader shall be reasonably demonstrative in worship, ie: at least one on stage-kneel.
4) Stage fog must never rise above worship team’s knees.
It was item number one in which Sheridan was in violation, specifically “skinny jeans”..
“It started off innocently enough, in which Toby began exposing his ankles with Converse tennis shoes”, said Church Councilman Ed Harvey. “After a verbal, then written warning from the church board sub committee for aesthetic public spectacle, he went back to a pair of standard hiking L.L. Beans. We thought the issue was behind us.”
“The very next week, he showed up in boot-cut stone-washed jeans. It was very distracting for those trying to worship.”
Sheridan claims he didn’t mean to create a disturbance, but merely attempting to “express himself visually”. He then sheepishly confessed his skinny jeans were “in the wash”.
“I’m only asking for a bit of grace”, the San Diego native pleaded, “I could understand if I’d over-played my quota of original songs, or had the AV booth zoom in with too many close ups. But for goodness sake. It’s a pair of pants.”
“It may seem trivial, but we are a seeker friendly church”, countered Pastor Kroeger. “We must keep our brand attractive to those looking for a relationship with Christ. If we can’t get them in the door, we can’t get them into the Kingdom. Yes, it’s pair of pants today. Next thing you know, it’s Nehru jackets and love beads tomorrow. We had to draw the line.”
Sheridan will be replaced by TPF youth pastor Rit Springs during the probationary period. The church has announced a schedule of guest speakers during the interim, as attendance is expected to plummet.
Sheridan will undergo intense “strategic fashion counseling” during his absence.