There. You’ve done Thanksgiving. How’d it go? You may look back with fondness, you may look back with disdain, or maybe a combination. If you find yourself leaning toward regret, take heart. You’ve got another shot! Christmas is coming! So next time you get together for the holiday, plan ahead! Don’t go!
Just kidding.
Before you’re tempted to think, “It’s going to be awkward again with (_______).”, reconsider. Is it possible you shoulder some responsibility? It occurs to me that some in my family may dread seeing ME! Hopefully you’re thinking. “How could this possibly be? Mike Harper is a peach of a guy. I would gladly trade a few of my relatives to have a guy like Mike at the Holidays. I’d even toss in the dog.”
Not so fast, eggnog breath.
You’d be kind to consider such a notion, but you don’t know the half of it. Believe it or not, I’m not all I may be cracked up to be. Right now someone in my family is saying, “Amen.” But before you take their word at face value, listen to the horse’s mouth. (Insert your punch line here.) Because I, like everyone else, have issues.
I shouldn’t even be telling you this.
Before I go to sleep at night, I crack every joint in my body. That’s right. You’d be surprised how long it takes. I’ve been doing this for so long, and I’ve gotten so good at it, I can now crack all my fingers, knees, ankles and toes to the tune of “Hey Jude”. It’s utterly amazing. And in my humble estimation, it warrants at least a participation trophy on “America’s Got Talent”.
But if you had to live around such freakish quirks, you may not share this zeal.
When I gather with family for festive occasions, I like to entertain. One liners. Movie quotes. Only slightly exaggerated tales of days gone by. The problem is, I’ve been telling the same jokes since 1969. My old school mates remember them. My kids certainly know them. You may even know them.
Turns out everybody’s sick of them.
When I get excited, I have a tendency to talk faster, elevate my pitch, and raise my voice. If I get particularly giddy, I may even pee a little. This has created more than one awkward moment in Harper family folklore. It has spawned some especially uncomfortable moments for those who have been introduced as new to the family.
We haven’t had anyone new to the family in a really long time.
So if you need a re-do at the next Holiday family affair, take stock. Do an “instant replay” in your mind. Is there something you should have said? Something you SHOULDN’T have said? Were you gracious? Kind? A good listener? Be honest.
Now shake it off. Re-boot. You get another shot at Christmas! And remember. The Holidays CAN be a joyous time. You just need to have the right mindset, offer appropriate conversation, and in general, provide engaging company.
Invite me over!