10. James Earl Jones does not want you to know he was the voice of Scooby Doo.
9. Pete Rose actually bet baseball would get mad at him for gambling.
8. Prince did not die in 2016. He’s living in your basement.
7. The Muppets is not an innocent puppet troupe, but a cult designed to destroy millenials.
6. Donald Trump is not the president. He’s a very realistic hologram.
5. The state of Pennsylvania is not a state at all, but a very long Quaker experiment.
4. No one will tell you this, but Buzz Aldrin was the first guy to pee on the moon.
3. Mars is not a planet. It’s a weather balloon that got away.
2. Whitney Houston never did believe that children were our future.
1. The original cowbell skit had Christopher Walken begging Will Ferrell for more accordion.