Finishing Each Other’s…
My Lovely Wife and Life Partner Lois could tell something was wrong. I don’t hide my emotions well. There was no denying it. I was bummed. Downcast. Crestfallen. She called me on it.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothin’.”
“Come on. You can tell me.”
“I’m okay.”
“Honey. We’ve been married thirty eight years. I know when something’s bothering you.”
“It’s silly.”
“Sweetheart, it’s not silly. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I knew now there was no way I was getting out of it. She was on a mission. Resolute. Determined. Stubbor…. Uh…determined. Still, I was hesitant.
“You’re gonna laugh.”
“I won’t laugh.”
“Well… okay. If you insist.”
“I do.”
“…You’re gonna think I’m…’
“MIKE.”
“Okay, okay.”
I had to bite now. Or else I was fast on my to having two problems.
“It’s just that… well…”
“Yes?”
(Heavy sigh) “My… (voice trailing off) …hai..~~~gucann~~.”
“What?”
“My haicugucanel…”
“SPEAK TO ME.”
“My haircut got canceled!!! Okay? There. I said it.”
(“Schmmpphh!)
“You’re laughing! I can’t believe it. You’re laughing.”
“No! I’m not laughing. I just … sneezed a little.”
“”SNEEZED a little?” Seriously? That’s the best you can do?”
“ A haircut?!?! That’s the best YOU can do?”
“A canceled haircut.”
“Yes. Excuse me. A canceled haircut.”
“It’s just that it gets all puffy on the top, and I don’t know when I’m gonna be able to reschedule.”
“Honey, I think you look wonderful.”
(Silence.)
“Honey. Look at me.”
I looked.
“I think you look wonderful.”
“…..thanks.”
“You know that, right?”
“I guess.”
“Honey?”
“Yes.”
“Good. That’s all you really wanted me to say from the very beginning, wasn’t it?”
(silence)
(smiling) “I thought so.”
“Okay, you got me. How do you KNOW so much?”
(Smiling silence)
I guess I’ll never know.