I’m Turning Sixty and I’m Not Freaking Out (Much)

January 1, 2018

I’m Turning 60, and I’m Not Freaking Out.

I’m ready to get this over with. I’ve seen this date coming my whole life, and the anticipation is doing me in. Although I haven’t really zeroed in on it. But the past couple months I’ve actually known how many days are left until the big six-oh. Sick, I know.

Now we’re ten days out and I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve gotten used to the whole idea. I look 59, I feel 58, and I’m Heinz 57. I’ll be fine.

I had a friend ask me if I was struggling with turning 60. When I said “yes”, he was incredulous. “Really?” He seemed surprised. I thought, why did you ask if you didn’t want an answer? I realized nobody wants you to struggle with your age. Easy for him. He’s 30.

My body is changing. More and more people are younger than me. Fewer people remember the Beatles, and I’m losing the courage to dance.

When you’re 60, you’re officially a senior citizen. I don’t know if that’s true, but it sure sounds true. Your past is bigger than your future. You’re looking at your kids calling themselves old. You can’t get up from a seated position in less than 30 seconds.

People look at you differently. Especially millennials. They look at my head. Okay. I’m sure I‘m just imagining it. Heck. Everybody looks at my head.

There’s no getting around it. It’s happening in ten days. I can’t wish it away. Many have said, “It beats the alternative. Many overly spiritual people say, “It’s one step closer to Jesus.” Okay, you got me. Is this the part where I say, “Okay, I admit it. I really am struggling with this?”

I prefer the school of thought I took recently where I take the attitude of gratitude. Lots of people don’t get to be 60. So it’s a privilege. Many people don’t get to see their grand kids. Many people don’t remember the Monkees, Ed Sullivan, or Neil Armstrong.

I’m looking forward to the well wishes, the presents,, the family love. I’m looking forward to the newly gained wisdom I enjoy every day. Well, most days. I’m looking forward to the new season of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

I guess it’s safe to say I’m a range of emotions. I’m a little mixed up. Okay, I’m a lot mixed up. But one thing sustains me. A long time ago in a land far away my grandma told me to count my blessings. She said it’s the best way to beat the blues. I don’t think she said it exactly that way. I don’t think she knew the word “blues”. But that was the gist of it.

So that’s my plan. I’m going to count my blessings. Beginning now. I’ve got a great life, a great job, a great wife, and a bunch of other stuff that don’t rhyme with job.

So if you make it to 60, take my advice. Shut up and smile!